“Do I Need Sex Therapy?” 7 Questions to Help You Find Out
Frequent sex with your partner can increase intimacy, boost your mood and self-confidence, reduce stress, and help you stay in shape. But despite all these amazing benefits, an estimated 15-20% of couples are in a sexless marriage.
Of course, infrequency isn’t the only sex-related issue that can arise in a relationship. For many couples, sex can be a difficult subject to talk about, leaving one or both parties feeling unfulfilled.
However, sex therapy is a type of talk therapy that aims at getting to the root of a couple’s bedroom problems. Couples can talk through worries and feelings with their sex therapist and learn different coping and communication methods that can help improve sexual satisfaction.
Are you not sure if sex therapy is right for you and your partner? Keep reading to discover 7 questions that can help you find out.
1. Is Sex a Common Theme in Arguments?
It’s normal for couples to argue. But if your arguments have a reoccurring theme that you just can’t work through on your own, it may be time to see a counselor. If that theme is sex, a sex therapist may be able to help.
Remember, these fights don’t have to be about the same bedroom problem either. If you find yourself arguing about anything and everything sex-related, from the frequency of sex to lack of intimacy, a sex therapist can help you tackle these issues one by one.
2. Do You or Your Partner Have Performance Issues?
Performance issues can be embarrassing to talk about, but it’s something a lot of couples struggle with. While you may immediately think of erectile dysfunction, there are many different types of performance issues that could affect your sex life. This includes:
- Erectile dysfunction
- Premature ejaculation
- Inability to ejaculate or orgasm
- Self-consciousness that makes sex difficult to enjoy
- Painful intercourse
While some of these issues can be health-related, others may be caused by emotional barriers. Your sex therapist can help you learn how to overcome emotional barriers and cope with performance issues due to physical ailments. You may also want to see a doctor if you’re experiencing performance problems due to your physical health.
3. Is Communicating About Sex Difficult?
It’s no secret that open and honest communication is key in a healthy marriage. But some topics are easier to talk about than others.
If you and your partner find it difficult to express your concerns about sex, a sex therapist can help foster communication and help you work through any issues you’re having.
The same principle applies to sex. If you and your partner find it hard to express what you want in bed, what fantasies you want to try, or what is a mood killer during sex, seeing a sex therapist can help you discuss this and give you practice for communicating in bed.
4. Do You Strive to Spice Things Up?
Do you feel like your sex life has gotten a bit too vanilla? If you’re constantly doing the same old positions, you may feel like your sex life is boring or in a rut.
Wanting to spice things up in the bedroom is natural, but partners often have different fantasies they want to try. This can become a problem if partners can’t seem to agree on what to try, or if one partner’s fantasy makes the other partner uncomfortable.
A sex therapist can help you think of different options and find a middle ground that leaves you both feeling happy and fulfilled.
If religion plays a big role in your marriage, you may be worried about experimenting in bed and knowing where exactly to draw the line from a moral standpoint. Christian sex therapy can give you and your partner the unique viewpoint you need to spice up your sex life without crossing that line.
5. Did a Life Change Alter Sex?
Unfortunately, sex lives are often dampened because of other circumstances happening in life. The birth of a child, menopause, a chronic illness, losing a job, the passing of a loved one, chronic stress, or a mental illness like depression are all things that can affect your sex life.
Seeing a sex therapist can help you learn how to manage everything going on in your life while still making time for sex and intimacy.
6. Did You or Your Partner Experience a Sexual Trauma?
Sex should be enjoyable for both parties. But if you or your partner experienced sexual abuse or sexual trauma, enjoying sex can be difficult. Sex therapy sessions can help teach you and your partner how to cope with sexual trauma and how to feel safe and comforted in bed.
7. Do You and Your Partner Have Different Sex Drives?
It’s not uncommon for couples to have different sex drives. But if you’re feeling frustrated that your partner never wants to have sex or, on the flip side, you often feel pressured to have sex, you may want to try sex therapy.
You can learn how to find a happy medium in your sex drives and how to compromise. Oftentimes, initiating sex in more exciting and enticing ways can help the partner with a lower sex drive want to have sex more often, and learning better ways to reject sex can prevent the partner with the higher sex drive from feeling resentful or hurt.
Is Sex Therapy Right for You?
Don’t let your marriage suffer due to problems in the bedroom. While sex and needing a therapist are both difficult topics to discuss, sex therapy can help you and your partner overcome various issues, and help you achieve an intimate and fulfilling sex life.
Is your sex life not the only thing that’s become monotonous? Then check out these tips to get out of a rut and live your best life today!